Where do I even begin. It has been another exhausting, pain staking, emotional but beautiful and life changing experience to birth my second daughter. I wouldn’t change the way she entered the world or the way she has filled our lives with so much love and gratitude for anything.
This birth story was very different in so many ways to my first. And I am so glad I was able to experience what I did.
I am not even sure where to begin. Giving birth to our beautiful daughter has been one of the most exhausting, pain staking, emotionally draining, yet life changing experiences where we couldn’t be any more in love and in awe at the miracles of life.
Every day I am in awe at some of the things my daughter says or comes up with. Some of them make me laugh, some cry and others are just plain cute. So, to remember these moments and her ever-evolving language skills and imagination, I thought I would share with you some of the main ones. These have all happened within the last few months, where she has just turned two.
Being a mother is not always easy. In fact, most days are hard work. And if you are a mum, you know that. You know that well. It has pulled me in so many directions, that sometimes my emotions can not keep up and I often question my own sanity. Some days are harder than others, but through all of this I can see the delights and the little life lessons that my daughter shows me daily. To society, I know I am to be teaching her the many life skills needed to grow to become a well-adjusted and sophisticated young woman that can contribute positively to our community. But most of the time, I believe there is so much we can learn from our children. These precious children come into this world with believing hearts. They are full of love, humility and obedience. If we just stop and look, our children bless our lives in such powerful, yet innocent ways. I can see this in my daughters eyes daily and I know that she has taught me a whole lot more than I feel like I’ve shared with her.
That’s just it. The perfect mom. How are you supposed to even live up to that? How are you to compete with all the other mama’s out there? As you lay your head down at night, how can you really be satisfied that the house is spotless, the child(ren) are happy and full and now fast asleep, your husband has never been more in love with you and you’ve had the chance to regroup with a little ‘me’ time? How do you even begin to find that balance?
The answer is you can’t. There is no such thing as a perfect mother. You can definitely be a great one, an amazing one, a caring one, but to be perfect holds a whole lot more unnecessary pressure on yourself that you really can’t juggle on top of everything else.
It was rough few weeks. And I’m not exaggerating. Not one part of me wants to relive what I have had to go through with my first and her sleep. I pray everyday our future children are easier or maybe that I’ll just be more prepared and experienced. All the same, it was horrible. Being a first time mum, most of the time I have no idea what I am doing and if I am doing any of it right. I like to tell myself if she is happy and I am happy we must be doing fine. But after 3 months, my daughter’s sleep went downhill. She had a dummy that she used only at sleep times. And she had had this dummy since she was less than a week old. It’s what got me through those first few weeks. She’d love to use me as a dummy and with all the pain and complications we were experiencing with that, I thought that introducing the dummy would ease the settling. It worked. And it worked well. If your a mum and your child has or has had a dummy you will probably agree with me in that it works some serious baby magic. Sometimes all my daughter needed was a good suck to calm herself and she was fine. It was such a lifesaver!
The moment has finally arrived. My husband, Trent, is not a student anymore! I couldn’t be more proud of this guy right now. He has worked the hardest I know to be where he is today. In fact, this is all I’ve known him to be working towards. That’s right, even when we first met — he was a student. All those endless hours and the constant determination to do his best on every task at hand never ceased to amaze me. Even through the long nights with a newborn, he would stay up for hours to make sure he got done what he needed to. I finally know my husband to not be studying and it feels so good.
Today, I am feeling very pregnant. One of those days where I am just so uncomfortable. So before I share my experiences with this pregnancy, I wanted to share an account I wrote when I was pregnant with my first child and how very real pregnancy (well more specifically, morning sickness) was for me.
“It has been the most physically and emotionally draining experience of my life. Somehow, I can officially say I have made it through. And sometimes I truly wonder how I did it and more importantly, how my husband put up with me through it. Yes, it’s that dreaded morning, or should I say all day sickness that a few of us unlucky ladies are cursed with. I honestly had no idea. None. I always knew my mother suffered from morning sickness with the majority of symptoms that accompany it. I just never remembered how bad my mother was during her pregnancies. So as naive as I was at the very beginning of this and even before that, knowing that I wanted children, I thought it was no big deal. Vomiting, pshh. I vomit every couple of months at ‘that’ time of the month. (Yes, and it would get intense sometimes. With a record of 11 one cycle. Not so pretty). So I thought I could cope with that during pregnancy. No big deal, right? Wrong!
I want to start out by sharing something I came across recently. I read a post called “To Wives, Before You Were Mommy‘” by Becky Thompson, that really touched my heart and had me thinking about the effort I may or may not be putting into my marriage now that we are new parents. Becky says it very clearly that before we were a mother to our child(ren), we were wives to our husbands, and the men too were husbands before they were fathers. It is important for us to remember this man. To remember that we are his wife. We need to remember how much we love and cherish him. How hard working he is, and how when he comes home from a long, demanding day at work he is right in there helping us with the child(ren). I urge you to go and have a read of this article. It will put everything back into perspective. We all need the little reminder every now and then.
Today is an exciting day! The launch of this very blog and I couldn’t be more overwhelmed with a passion to share. To share what I know, what I have learnt and what I am stumbling across along the way. I want this blog, Simply Stoked, to be a place where I can feel inspired, and I want it to be a place for you to feel the same. I don’t want this to turn into a ‘how-to’ of life, because I am definitely no expert. But I would like to give you a little look at my own life and perhaps that may make a small difference in yours. I am not perfect, nor do I think my family is. At times there are perfect moments, but with that comes the opposite too. And most of the time, we are just trying to be a little better than we were the day before; however, great or small that may be.